Once you and your spouse decide in favor of divorce, it's time to turn your attention to the process itself. While doing so, don't overlook the importance of taking good care of your children. Their well-being is extremely important during this transitional period.
Here are a few things you should personally do before telling your children about your divorce:
- Plan it out: This is not a discussion that you can afford to mess up. Your children rely on you for stability, so you need to give them a sense of peace during this conversation. With the right plan guiding you, it's easier to say the right things at the right time.
- Find the best time in your schedule: Telling your children about your divorce isn't something you do on a whim. You need to choose the appropriate time and place, so look at your schedule to ensure that you find a slot that works.
- Prepare for questions: Even if you're clear as to why you're getting a divorce and what comes next, it doesn't mean your children are on the same page. They may have a variety of questions, all of which you need to address to the best of your ability.
- Create a plan to maintain routines: Your children are used to their daily routine, so do whatever it takes to maintain this (within reason). If too many things change at once, your children will find it more difficult to adjust.
- Get a support system in place: It's not always easy, but talk to your soon-to-be ex-spouse about the ways you can work together to ease your children through the divorce process. Also, share your situation with friends, family, babysitters, teachers and anyone else of importance. The sooner you get a support system in place, the better off you'll be.
By taking these steps before telling your children about divorce, everyone involved will find it easier to work through the process.
There's nothing simple about your divorce, but, despite the potential challenges, you must hold everything together. You're doing so for yourself and the well-being of your children.